The biggest food meltdown day of the year is almost upon us: Thanksgiving.
Carbohydrates, starches, sugar, and alcohol are everywhere this time of year. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can simply be a thing. Neither good nor bad.
We become so determined to label things, others, and ourselves as good or bad. But until you place a judgement on something it is neither of those things.
Consider what it would be like to go into this holiday season choosing not to judge things or yourself as good or bad. Perhaps it isn’t necessary to become anxious about food, weight and the judgments of others. Perhaps we could go through this season knowing our choices are simply that; choices.
With that in mind, I wanted to go over some ideas that might help you in your relationship with food and with yourself.
1. Let go of the diet fads
Toss the diet books and magazine articles that give false hope of losing weight quickly, easily, and permanently. Recognize the lies you have believed out of desperation that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight. Give yourself the freedom to eat from intuition. Food that feels right.
2. Honor your hunger
Keep your body fed with adequate energy and carbohydrates. Otherwise, you can trigger a primal drive to overeat. As soon as you cross the line into excessive hunger, all intention of moderate, conscious eating flies out the window. Rebuild trust with yourself and food by allowing your body to be nourished.
3. Give yourself permission to moderate
If you tell yourself that you cannot or should not have a particular food it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, binging. When you finally “give in” to your forbidden food, eating is experienced with such intensity, it usually results in overeating and overwhelming guilt. Begin practicing balance and moderation one small step at a time.
4. Resist all or nothing judgements
You are not “good” for eating under 1200 calories or “bad” because you ate a piece of chocolate cake. All or nothing judgements create unreasonable rules that stem from all of those dieting fads. All of those negative barbs, hopeless phrases, and guilt-provoking indictments do nothing more than cause you to feel badly about yourself, which is more likely to lead to unhealthy eating choices. Find kindness for yourself.
5. Relearn what full is, and be willing to stop
Listen to your body signals that tell you that you are no longer hungry. Observe the signs that show that you are comfortably full. Pause in the middle of eating a meal or a food and ask yourself:
How does this food taste?
What is my current fullness level?
Notice the feelings that come up when you identify fullness and choose to put your fork down.
6. Savor your food
There are cultures that have the wisdom to promote pleasure as one of the goals of healthy living. In our culture’s fury to stay or become thin we often overlook one of the most basic gifts of existence – the pleasure and satisfaction found in the experience of eating. When you eat what you really want in a pleasing environment, the pleasure you derive will help you feel satisfied and content. You may even find it takes much less food to decide you have had enough.
7. Validate your feelings without food
Find ways to comfort, nurture, distract, and resolve your issues without using food. Anxiety, loneliness, boredom, and anger are emotions we all experience throughout life. Each has its own trigger, and each has its own appeasement. Food will not fix any of these feelings. It provides comfort for the short-term, and distracts from the pain. But food will not solve the problem. If anything, eating for an emotional buffer will only make you feel worse in the long run. When you finally do deal with the source of those feelings, you’ll find food isn’t necessary to comfort you any longer.
8. Respect the nature of your body
Accept your genetics. You were born with this body and trying to make it mimic someone elses body can be dangerous. Just as a person with a shoe size of 8 would not expect to squeeze into a size 6, it is equally futile and uncomfortable to have the same expectation with body size. But mostly, respect your body so that you can feel better about who you are. It is hard to reject the diet mentality if you are unrealistic and overly critical about your body shape.
9. Move your body to feel good
Get active, and feel the difference in your mood and energy. Shift you focus to how it feels to move your body, rather than the calorie-burning effect of exercise. If you focus on how you feel from working out, like feeling energized, it can make the difference between rolling out of bed for a brisk morning walk or hitting the snooze button. If your only goal is to lose weight, it is usually not a motivator to get up and get going, but the pleasure of how you’ll feel inside and out afterwards just might be.
10. Focus on wellness and give yourself grace
Make food choices that honor your health and taste buds, while making you feel good. Remember that you do not have to eat a perfect diet to stay healthy. You will not suddenly get a nutrient deficiency or gain weight from one snack, meal, or day of eating. It is what you eat consistently over time that matters. Progress not perfection is what counts.
REAL LIFE PRACTICE
You don’t have to master all ten of these in one day or even in one holiday season. Pick one. Focus on that for the next week. Notice your thoughts, notice your ability to change those thoughts or make different choices than you would have at another time.
Resist the urge to judge yourself when you aren’t perfect. Practice.
When you feel you’re ready, add another principle into your habits. This isn’t a contest. No one even has to know you’re trying something different out inside.
In life coaching I preach the value of balancing your mind, body, soul, and space. Mindful, and intentional eating takes care of all four.
Your mind becomes more controlled, your body is cared for, your soul is healed by the reduction in negative self-talk, and you will feel motivated to heave a healthier living space when your body feels healthier.
Are you ready to create change? Great! You have everything you need inside of you. And if you need a little extra support and a guiding hand, you know where to find me here at Soulful Space.