Let’s say you’ve done the Marie Kondo purge of your closet. You took everything out. You asked yourself if each item sparked joy. You got rid of half your clothes. You put them back in the closet. You admire the space, the serenity, the relief.
Then your Stitch Fix box arrives, or you “accidentally fall” into a clothing store. This sweater fits so perfectly, you can’t send it back, now can you? There’s a sale, for goodness sake, you’d be losing money if you didn’t take advantage of it.
Somewhere down the road you look at your closet and wonder what happened. You think to yourself how that Marie Kondo is nuts, because this decluttering thing clearly doesn’t work. Besides, you tell yourself, I’m not a tidy person anyways, it was silly of me to try.
Not true!
If anything similar to this has happened to you, I will tell you that you did not declutter, you purged. You purged to make room for more stuff.
It’s not that purging to make room for more stuff is a bad thing. Heck, there’s something to be said for removing stuff before buying stuff so that it doesn’t keep growing. I live by the One In, One Out Rule. Simple. I buy a new shirt, an old one leaves. I buy a new gadget, something leaves. It isn’t always like items, but something will be released back into the wild. It keeps my clutter under control and keeps me mindful of everything I bring into the house.
However, if you have looked at those pretty pictures on Pinterest of beautiful clean kitchens and organized desks and bookshelves, and thought that is what you want to achieve, then you’re gonna have to declutter without refilling.
It’s all about what your end goal is. If you want to reduce your belongings, create space in your home or get out from under the burden of stuff, then the shopping will need to stop for a while. At least until you know how much space you want filled and how much you want open.
I didn’t start living by the One In, One Out Rule until after I had decluttered my entire house. Decluttered it a couple of times really. Then I figured out how much clothing I wanted, and how much space I wanted it to take up. I knew how much jewelry I wanted to have at any given time. Same with dishes, cosmetics, books, etc.
Why do you buy stuff? To use it? To enjoy it? Or to fill an emotional hole?
Material items can drain your energy when they pile up unused and unloved. To buy things simply for the sake of having them is very different than buying things for a specific purpose. Shopping mindlessly is different than shopping intentionally.
Again, it’s all about what your goals are. If you don’t know what your goals are, then we probably need to start there. To have goals you have to know what you want. To know what you want you need to pay attention to yourself. Now we’re talking about awareness and insight.
If you do not want to have awareness and insight into yourself you can stop reading. In fact, I encourage you, with love, to stop reading. Why? Because to know you don’t want to have self-awareness is actually being insightful and the action of stopping reading would be an intentional choice based on that insight. And that’s all I want you to be willing to do.
Still with me? Cool, let’s continue…
Apply this idea to shopping. If you browse through the Amazon deals of the day, or wander the aisles of Target without a goal, and yet still end up buying stuff, you have probably lost sight of your self-awareness.
Now you’ve got some new items to find a spot for in your home. If you don’t ever get rid of anything it will all keep piling up, your energy will drain and you’ll wonder why you’re always crabby or feel unsettled in your own home.
If you know exactly what you need, what it’s purpose will be, where it will live in your home, and that there is space for it, then you can go shopping with intention. Walk into Target. Purchase that item and bring it home. Enjoy!
As I said before, if you like to shop, but don’t want to have a cluttered house, the decluttering without any shopping has to happen first. If you already know how much space you want to have filled or open in your home you will be able to shop without any sense of guilt or shame, because you will be shopping with intention.
However, if you lie to yourself and “declutter” only to refill, you’ve missed out on the awareness, insight and intentionality that will lead to a happier, more purposeful life. Know what your goals are.
As a final note, we’re at that time of the year where a lot of shopping is being done. Holidays. Gifts. Perhaps this year you consider this idea of intentionality in the gifts you purchase. Is your goal to get your loved one something they will use? Or is your goal to make sure they have something to open?
Giving gifts is such a wonderful thing. There will also be a lot of gifts given in the next month or so that will sit on a shelf unused because they were purchased without a real goal in mind. What kind of gifts do you want to give this season?
This can be a bit of a big concept to snap your fingers and grab ahold of. So, go ahead and get in touch for some coaching so we can get you goal oriented and on track!