Our clothes do more than cover us. They show the world who we are and how we feel. Confident or insecure. Boho or classic. They can also be a mask we wear to hide those very things.
In our search for identity through our clothing, our wardrobe can consume and overwhelm us.
That’s when decluttering and reorganizing is needed to reset your relationship with your clothing and yourself.
STATISTICS
When I was preparing to write this for you, I did a little research into the impact of closets and clutter on women. Here’s what I found:
1 in 9 women are late to work because they can’t find a particular item in their closet.
10% of women feel depressed when they open their closet doors.
A study of 2,137 U.S. women said their closets had an average of $550 worth of unused clothing.
61% of women who have a hard time finding things in their closets end up buying new clothes.
Did you see yourself in there somewhere? I’m going to ask that you trust me when I tell you the hard physical, mental and emotional work to get to an intentional closet is worth it 1000 times over.
Hang in there and remember to breathe.
MY CLOSET
I used to think I decluttered my closet yearly because I donated multiple bags and boxes of stuff every year.
When I decluttered with a goal of having less, not just getting rid of old stuff, I discovered I had only been holding back the tide, not making progress toward having a more organized home.
I had resisted the KonMari (from Marie Kondo) Method, in which you pull everything out at one time and decide what “sparks joy”. But it wasn’t until I took on my closet as a whole, instead of a little this month, then a little next month, that I created change.
I did adapt the KonMari Method to suit my energy, though. Instead of getting out every item of clothing in the house and facing it all at one time, I went category by category.
With a commitment to cover one category every day I decluttered my clothing in a week.
My shoes were a category that really stood out. You see, I love me some shoes. I have a lot. Not Imeda Marcos-a-lot, but a lot. I did not want to pull them all out and pile them on the floor of my closet. It sounded so overwhelming.
But I gritted my teeth and went to it. Yes, it was overwhelming, but as I sorted them out and began tossing pairs into the donation box, it started to make sense. I could see the whole picture of my foot wardrobe and it helped.
To this day my shoes are never out of order or tumbled upon one another. They all have a spot they return to after being worn. I would not have that sense of order if I hadn’t looked at that whole picture before decluttering them.
“RULING OUT” VS “SPARKING JOY”
How did I decide which of my plethora of footwear to keep and what to toss? It was a combination of ruling out what I didn’t want, like or use, and ruling in what I still loved.
Marie Kondo recommends you hold each item of clothing and ask yourself if it sparks joy.
This is a totally valid concept, but there’s a problem with it –
not everyone understands what joy feels like.
You may be one of these people, which means you need to rule some things out to remove a layer of distraction before you can tap into what you like, let alone love.
If you are in this category you might prefer to “rule out” first.
Do I dislike this? Do I feel like I should like this, but don’t? Is this covered in dust? Do I hate this fabric?
The idea is to give yourself permission to first get rid of the obvious. It’s kind of the opposite of sparking joy, but it’s a lot less overwhelming for many.
Once you get to the point where you’re pretty sure you at least kind of like everything you own, then asking what you really love may make more sense.
BECOME CURIOUS
For most people a little more direction is needed in the decluttering process. What you dislike and what you love are great feeling criteria, but you might need more.
Have I worn this in the last year? If you want to prove you’ll still wear something even though you haven’t touched it in a year or two, wear it for a day. Then see how you feel.
Does it have holes, tears, worn spots, etc., that were not put there by the manufacturer? What you are saying about what you deserve by insisting on wearing holey clothing?
Does this fit? If you’re waiting for the day you’ll be at a weight you don’t like, you might want to ask if you are manifesting that future. If you are holding onto clothes for a body you had at one time and are waiting to have again, are you holding onto the past instead of being present in your life?
DRESSER DRAWERS
In my journey I started with drawers instead of the closet because they seemed less intimidating.
My tank tops were the first thing to get decluttered. They had been irritating me for ages. I had rearranged them time and again, trying to find the right way to stack them in my dresser so they were organized.
Now I emptied the drawer. Made intentional choices as to what I really wore and wanted to keep. Then filed folded the remainder back into the drawer. It was a game changer.
To this day those tank tops remain file folded and decluttered.
I can see them all and have since decluttered them to the point that I now have all of my tanks and T’s in one drawer.
I worked my way through all of the other drawers over that next week and reveled in their tidiness.
FILE FOLDING
What’s file folding you ask? A hyper organized way of folding your clothing into little rectangles so they can be put in the drawer in rows instead of stacks leaving your clothing all fully visible.
I was sure I would never do this (I had heard of this method long before I decluttered and dismissed it repeatedly), and then I decided to take my own advice and not say I can’t until I had given it a try.
If I had continued to say I wasn’t a person who could be tidy or who would maintain file folded clothing, I wouldn’t be where I am today – living in a home I can feel at peace in.
This link to How to Get Your Shit Together on YouTube was the best video I found on file folding. Yes, I do fold my underwear. You’ll understand after watching the video.
BREAKING IT DOWN
When it comes down to it your wardrobe and closet can be decluttered in simple steps:
Choose the area you are going to declutter, a drawer, a category, a shelf, etc.
Pull all of that out into a possibly mildly overwhelming pile.
Take a deep breath.
Sort those clothes or shoes by asking yourself if you love/like or hate/dislike the item.
If you need more use the questions above.
Put the stuff you aren’t keeping into bags for donate, toss and sell and remove them immediately to reduce the clutter noise.
Put the stuff you are keeping back into the space with your mindful and intentional method of choice.
*Do not stop mid-task. Stopping can mean not starting again. Be honest about your available time and energy.
Sounds totally do-able, right?
It is. I swear. And if you cannot get a handle on this closet thing, schedule some coaching with me and we’ll create a plan of attack together that takes your unique personality and hang-ups into account.
A clear plan and some accountability combined with the willingness to commit to your own selfcare will bring you the closet and peace you’ve been looking for.