I bet the term “feng shui” conjures up images of peaceful homes, water fountains, candles and other calming, homey things. Yes! And so very much more.
Feng shui is actually a full life philosophy that begins with you, the person, before it ever reaches your home or space.
To declutter your life, you have to pay attention to the whole and create balance.
Feng shui tells us of four areas to be decluttered for the integrated experience: mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual.
What are some examples of clutter in these four areas? I’m so glad you asked!
Mental Clutter: worries, judgements, criticisms, gossip, complaints, monkey mind (mental chatter), and unfinished business
Emotional Clutter: upsets, grievances, resentments, frustrations, and attachments
Physical Clutter: unused items, trash, unloved collections, inherited and symbolic items, and excess
Spiritual Clutter: obscured vision of yourself, confused purpose, and a starving soul
To feel balanced and at peace these must all be attended to.
Let’s dig in.
MENTAL CLUTTER
Worries and what ifs can rule over your life, causing you to live in pain at all times. This is what I tell my clients:
Anxiety is all of the things that have happened in the past that you cannot change, and all of the things in the future that you cannot control because they haven’t happened yet.
Peace is found in this moment.
Right now, there is nothing to worry about. It’s only when your mind decides to wander into the past or the future that those worry thoughts start to rise up.
When you feel anxious notice where you are at that moment. What can you see, feel, hear, touch, or taste? Be here right now. Take three nice deep belly breaths. Move on.
Do you know that when you judge someone else it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you? When you judge someone else, notice, then ask yourself what is making it important for you to judge that person. (No one likes when I ask that question).
Most complaining is attention-seeking or acting-the-victim. I’m going to be harsh here: get over it, you are not a victim and you do not need the attention of others to be the radiant being you already are. Take control by taking action.
Unfinished business. Complete it. Remove the sword hanging over your head by doing what needs to be done regardless of the fear.
In other words: mental clutter is cleared by using logic.
EMOTIONAL CLUTTER
People ask me the difference between mental clutter and emotional clutter. Mental clutter is about the thoughts that are getting in your way. Emotional clutter is about the feelings that are created by the thoughts.
Closely linked, yet separate.
While logic is the answer to mental clutter, empathy clears emotional clutter.
Whether that is empathy for yourself or others does not matter. Be kind and the pain will melt away.
Things that upset you can come in any and every form. Traffic, criticism, stale doughnuts, lost love…you know, everything.
But does being upset solve anything? Nope. Instead take some time to find empathy for yourself or others.
Be kind to yourself regardless of the choices you made this morning that caused you to run late. Empathize with that person who just cut you off by recognizing that they are in pain or else they would not have acted so.
Validate the distress you feel at finding your eagerly awaited doughnut to be stale. You were really looking forward to it and are terribly disappointed.
You get to be upset. Now notice that it doesn’t change the circumstances and move on.
While you’re at it, empathize with the person who sold you the stale doughnut. They may not have been told the doughnuts needed tossing by someone else who was there before them. Who knows?
Whatever the emotional clutter, take a beat and look for the place where empathy can melt the pain. It gets easier with practice.
PHYSICAL CLUTTER
Okay, we all know what physical clutter is, right? Or do we? Hmmm…
Do you know that the sweater you bought last winter that you never wore and really don’t like, but won’t get rid of because you spent money on it is clutter? Yup. Big ol’ energy draining clutter.
The stacks of papers that need to be gone through. The drawers you can’t bear to open. The closet you shove things in when company comes over.
The things your beloved left behind when he passed. The items of grandma’s that you keep even though you have no use for them. The potholders your aunt knit you that don’t fit in your décor.
I’ll stop there. I’m going to assume you know the basics of what physical clutter is.
So, what to do?
Logic and empathy! Be kind to yourself or the person who created the clutter. There was a reason it got there. Now apply logic to move the unneeded, unused, and unloved on to greener pastures.
Ask yourself these questions:
When was the last time I used this?
Did I know I had this?
If I’m honest with myself, will I every use this, do I even like it?
Do I have more than one of this? Is that necessary?
Do I feel good when I wear this?
Is this thing broken?
Get curious about how the clutter got there, then get curious about whether you will be keeping it or not.
One of the things I love that happens every time I help someone declutter their space is the story-telling I witness.
It’s compulsive and delightful. I hear about the history of an item. It’s previous meaning to the owner. I get to hear the inner workings of another person as they process their relationship with this physical thing they hold in their hand.
And, 8 times out of 10, anything with a story needing to be processed out loud, ends up going to the way of the dodo.
Give yourself permission to release stuff to clear energy.
SPIRTUAL CLUTTTER
You have a path. We all do. We spend our lives trying to figure out what it’s twists and turns are and try to stay on it regardless of the darkness of night.
Things get in the way of our path. People get in the way. Thoughts and feelings hinder us in the pursuit of our true paths.
Your path is there. It’s your job to be honest with yourself to know if you are on it or not. It’s your job to notice if you’re trying to be on someone else’s path, and that’s why you aren’t getting anywhere.
Our spirits, or our souls, are beautiful, intangible things. They respond to honesty and love.
When you feel like your soul is lost or starving to death, sit down. Sit down and breathe. The answer is rarely to push forward. It is generally to sit still and listen.
Listen to what your heart is telling you it wants. Trust yourself, even if you have no evidence that you can be trusted.
Take a risk. Deviate from the path others think you should be on if it doesn’t feel right. While others may try to give you consequences for being your authentic self, that doesn’t mean you’re wrong. If they are afraid of your joy, if they are jealous of what you allow yourself, they will try to hold you back.
They do this because they are hurting and they know nothing else.
Their actions are about themselves, not you.
Breathe. Listen to the beating of your heart. I promise you will become more familiar with your inner voice as you listen over time. I promise you will learn to trust yourself when you act out of honesty.
I rarely promise anything, but I promise those things.
IDENTIFYING YOUR CLUTTER
Notice.
Notice yourself. Notice your thoughts. Notice the feelings that arise from your thoughts. Notice the space you live in. Notice the space that lives in you.
Now you can do something about it, because now you can see it. Your clutter. You’re going to be just fine.
But if you aren’t sure of that, I’m here to coach you through it all. Let’s talk and set up your sessions today so that you can begin to find your true path and clear the clutter that holds you back.