Do you hit the ground running during the holidays and put yourself on auto-pilot just to get things done? Or do you slug along hoping a magical fairy will take care of everything for you so you won’t have to deal?
Either way, you’re not having any fun!
The true meaning of the holiday season got lost a long, long time ago. Thankfulness for the lives we have and the friends and family who share it. Love for your fellow human beings. Appreciation of the small things like a child’s smile or a snowy day.
Yup. We stopped caring about that as soon as Black Friday turned Thanksgiving into shopping mayhem, and people’s egos got in the way of sharing time with others.
This all equals stress piled on stress piled on stress. You need a reset! In order to do this, you’re going to have to slow down.
Take a nice deep breath, and slow down.
The things that need to get done will get done. If something doesn’t get done, it wasn’t needed. What is needed is taking care of yourself so you can weather the storm of all of the other people in your life who aren’t slowing down.
Self-care during the holidays might look a little different than throughout the rest of the year. To get the things done that you want, and still stay relaxed try some of these ideas.
THANKSGIVING
Thanksgiving is more about food than anything else. Unfortunately, the simple act of gathering family together sparks angst in most people. That’s why you really need to think about what drains you and what builds you up.
Food – There are going to be a lot of starches and carbs loading down the Thanksgiving table. Keep in mind that these make you feel sluggish and grumpy.
Drink lots of water to keep your digestion moving.
Try eating your protein (turkey) and veggies before you tackle the mashed potatoes and rolls. Chew your food before you swallow it! You’d think I didn’t have to tell adults this, but I’ve seen jaws unhinge like holiday sweater-wearing boa constrictors at a Thanksgiving meal.
Alcohol – Most of us enjoy a cup of holiday cheer. Know what your tolerance really is. If you’re stressed about being with family you may be tempted to dig in deep to that bottle of wine. Think about how well you’re going to deal with Aunt Harriet’s incessant questioning after alcohol has taken down your defenses.
Family – I wish getting together with family was as enjoyable as Norman Rockwell made it look. It can be, if you actually enjoy all of your family members. But there is usually someone at a family gathering you don’t like, or don’t want to deal with. Steer clear of that person. Be kind and polite when spoken to, but know that you do not owe anyone your time, even if it would make Mom happy if you got along with your sister.
IN BETWEEN
Between Thanksgiving and Christmas there are four weeks of scramble. Shopping, holiday parties, and office snacks abound. Slowing down and thinking about how you want to approach all of this will make a big difference as you slide into home at the end of December.
Shopping – Have a plan. If you want to stress yourself out, wait until the last minute to buy gifts, do it when you’re exhausted, and especially do it when you haven’t eaten. If you’d like to survive shopping do the opposite. Prepare your shopping list, get a good night’s sleep, eat a protein focused meal, pack a granola bar in your purse along with a bottle of water.
Be prepared like a Boy Scout.
Holiday Parties – Who doesn’t love a good party? Well, maybe you after your tenth invitation. Take a moment to think before RSVPing to events. Do you really have time and energy for this? What are the holiday festivities you want to focus on? You may have to say no to some stuff so that you can truly enjoy the things you say yes to.
Office Snacks – Taking care of yourself can feel like it gets harder and harder the more people bring in Christmas cakes and cookies. Before you reach for a snack ask yourself why you’re reaching for it. Are you hungry? Or are you mindlessly grazing? You don’t have to go home at the end of the day lamenting the extra cookies you ate because you “couldn’t help” yourself. You have more control than that. Pay attention.
CHIRSTMAS
You’re in the homestretch as Christmas comes into view. You already know you’re going to be sitting on your bed until two in the morning drinking wine and wrapping presents on Christmas Eve, so I’m not going to waste time telling you that’s a terrible idea.
Gift Giving – Christmas becomes a financial stressor when too many gifts are bought for too many people. Giving is wonderful, it feels really good.
Giving more than you have available is sacrifice.
Sacrifice tends to lead to feeling resentful. Put boundaries in place with gifts for your kids, your spouse, parents, extended family, coworkers, friends, etc.
Multi-home Families – I love hearing that my clients are firm on only going to one house per day for the holidays. With families that involve steps and in-laws, this can mean that someone will not see you or your kids on the day of. Taking care of yourself means being okay with not running yourself ragged just to make other people happy.
NEW YEARS EVE
And you’re at the finish line to welcome in the new year. Remember that New Years Eve is just a day.
Staying Up – It can be a nice symbolic thing to stay up until midnight, but if you’re tired, go to bed! You aren’t missing anything.
Parties – Maybe you bring in the new year with other people, maybe you do it on your own. Neither one is right tor wrong. If you need to keep it chill, then do so. If you want to be with friends, then do so. If you don’t have anything to do, don’t despair, neither do a lot of people. You’re all just fine.
This is a great night to draw a bath, light some candles and hum Auld Lang Syne to yourself with a good book.
THE TAKE AWAY
You can run yourself ragged during the holidays. You can stay up late, eat lots of heavy and sugary foods, drink excessively, force yourself to be around people you don’t like, and overextend your finances if you like.
Or you could decide to do things differently this year.
Slow things down
Stay hydrated
Focus more on protein than starches
Be intentional with holiday snacks
Set boundaries with family
Be mindful with gift-giving
Say no and stay home even if it isn’t a popular thing to do
This isn’t the self-care list of massages and spa days that I’m hoping you’ll get to after the holiday season. I’m realistic. I know you have a lot on your plate and changing things to take care of yourself during the holidays will take time to implement.
Try not to forget about yourself while you’re thinking about everyone else.
For support to get through the holidays with grace or to recover and recommit to yourself in the new year, contact me and we’ll get you taken care of and on the track you want to be on!