When a new baby is about to enter your life, a lot changes, and those changes begin before she or he ever arrives. One of those changes is to your home. Making space for a whole new human being means decluttering must happen.
Not just moving things to another area like the basement. You need to remove an entire room’s worth of stuff out of your home. And, no, that does not mean moving it to a storage locker, or your parents’ basement. I know all of the loop holes, don’t push it.
If room needs to be made for a new addition, some stuff will have to go!
WHY DECLUTTERING IS SO IMPORTANT
Baby’s come with a lot of stuff. I mean a ton. Have you seen the size of a box of diapers alone? Then there’s all of the other necessities, and the less than necessary, but so darn cute, stuff that will slowly make its way into your home.
General large items baby’s come with are things like:
A crib (have fun putting it together!)
Bassinet
A diaper changing station
Dresser
Rocker
Car seats
Stroller
High chair
Things you’ll be getting at your shower start, but do not end with:
Onesies (hopefully lots of them as that’s baby’s uniform for a while)
Breast pump
Bibs and other eating items
Swaddling blankets
Diapers, wipes and creams
Books
Bathing essentials
Developmental toys
Don’t forget about the stuff grandmas are likely to show up on your doorstep with:
Things she saw at the store and just had to get for you
Adorable pillows with adorable sayings
Stuffed animals
Clothing your child will grow out of in a month
Oh, yeah, you’re going to be buying additional stuff, too:
Anything and everything that matches the theme of the baby’s room
Whatever that woman at work told you that you had to get even though you don’t know what it does
Clothing (it’s hard to resist the cuteness)
To prepare for this onslaught you have to make space. Otherwise, it will get incredibly overwhelming.
Besides, when the baby arrives, you’ll have enough to deal with. You do not want to be tripping over crap you don’t even use. New parent’s nerves are frayed enough.
A tidy, uncluttered house is way easier to keep clean and less likely to push either one of you over the edge.
WHEN TO DO THIS
During your first trimester you’re going to be focused on getting adjusted to this new development, trying to figure out what doctor’s appointments you need to schedule, and keeping nausea at bay.
When the second trimester arrives, you’re probably sharing the happy news with friends and family, which can make this whole thing feel a lot more real. At this point you’re hopefully feeling better but you haven’t hit the fatigue and brain fog that may come with the third trimester.
That’s why around week 13 is a good time to begin creating a plan and then implementing it.
Trust me, you do not want to still be decluttering when the shower comes around. You will come home with a literal truck-load of gifts. This is wonderful, but you’re going to want to have already created the space for it all and even have the places for things to go set up if possible.
HOW TO DO IT
Remember, you and your partner are a team. Work together.
Sit down and create a plan together. This isn’t a crisis, so you don’t need to get everything done all at one time. Take it slow and steady.
Work on getting everything out of that room so you can see what you’re working with.
Donate or toss everything that is leaving the house as soon as possible. Don’t let it become new clutter.
Relocate items you’re keeping to other areas of the house.
If relocation sets off a domino effect of other items needing to be relocated, donated or tossed, do it one area at a time.
Don’t forget other areas of the house where room will need to be made like:
Kitchen
Family room
Bathroom
Do not get begin thinking too much about a step you aren’t at yet. Our goal is for you to be less overwhelmed, not more. A solid plan that both of you agree to will help immensely.
There are a lot of things you won’t even know until baby settles in, so don’t get too caught up in doing this all perfectly.
EMOTIONS WILL RUN HIGH
Change is something that tends to make us a little tense to begin with. A new baby is a change like no other. It’s easy for expecting parents to take out their feelings on each other. I’ll say it again, remember that you guys are a team.
Decluttering triggers a lot of feelings.
Decluttering for a change of life like a baby has even more emotion attached to it.
Some feelings that might come up are:
Resentment that you have to get rid of your stuff.
Frustration with your spouse if they aren’t doing things the way you want or in the time frame you want.
Confusion over what should stay and what should go.
Overwhelm at the sheer immensity of this project.
What’s great is that there are a bunch of warm, fuzzy feelings to be had, too:
Relief at decluttering stuff you had wanted to get rid of anyways.
Excitement as space is made and you begin to dream about baby being there.
Joy at what you and your partner are creating together.
Appreciation for each other as you’re both empathetic to the other’s emotional experience.
Decluttering often drums up feelings of loss. Try not to invalidate any feelings, especially ones of loss, as you go through this process. Recognize that it’s an exchange of old and no longer necessary for new and necessary. Grieve the things that are going, then rejoice in what is coming.
This is about more than stuff. It’s about accepting the next stage of your life.
SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY
Your first baby is a totally different experience than the second. I promise number two will make far more sense. With the first one everything is new and unknown.
Your life is going to change regardless of whether you prepare or not, so stop avoiding and get that plan made.
Take a deep breath and notice the experience you’re having.
Slow down and let yourself do things one at a time.
Work with, not against your partner.
Let go of the things that don’t belong in the life you are transitioning into.
I know you aren’t sure which way is up a lot of the time. That’s okay. No one does with their first baby. You’re going to be fine.
If you’re preparing for a new addition to your home (first or otherwise!) and you need some additional support to help you process these changes, a few sessions of Integrative Life Coaching can make the difference. If you’re feeling stuck as to how to deal with the clutter of your home in that preparation, Declutter Coaching will get you moving again.
No matter what, know that you aren’t alone and there is support waiting for you.