I am not perfect. I’m so sorry to let you behind the curtain and break the spell, but I don’t even aspire to perfection.
I was raised with all of the values of sustainable living and reduced waste living. I love those values. I also do not meet the expectations of them nearly 80%, let alone 100%, of the time.
When I go on Pinterest I see a lot of articles about zero waste and minimalism that have awesome ideas that I take to heart. I also see a lot of judgmental words.
Things like how embarrassed the author was when she realized how wasteful she was being. Embarrassment is a form of shame. Please do not feel shame over the choices you make. If you want to make changes go for it, but shame is not required.
Or anything that implies you are evil and destroying the planet unless you change everything you do right now! Gracious, I can’t handle that kind of pressure.
Heck, even the brand If You Care comes with all kinds of passive aggressive messages I’m not comfortable with.
I’ve made changes in the way I do things to reduce waste and toxic substances in my home slowly over time. I’ve also worked toward increasing the use of items that are more in line with my values of organically grown, non-GMO, compostable, sustainable, etc. living.
It’s a process, not a race to the finish where you get a gold star for being the best Earth Mother.
I also live with a man who was not raised with those same values. It isn’t that he doesn’t have them, it’s simply that he wasn’t raised with them so the changes I make around the house create a sense of unfamiliarity that can be a little disconcerting for him.
I respect that. He respects me, too. So, we compromise.
What this means is I keep making small changes so he never knows where anything is in the house, especially the kitchen, and he gets to keep a bottle of Tide and Downey in the laundry room that rarely get used because I do most of the laundry and use Seventh Generation products. This arrangement works for us.
Let me tell you about a few items we still buy, and why, as well as any modifications that go along with them:
Bounty Paper Towels
Because he likes having paper towels around and my cleaning lady specifically likes Bounty. 2 against 1, not fair. I have started to buy Seedling by Grove bamboo paper towels and we’re going to see if anyone notices. The Seventh Generation ones I got before were just awful, thin and not absorbent, but these seem pretty good. Wish me luck.
I prefer microfiber cloths. There are even arguments against those so you can go with bar towels made with organically grown cotton if you’re going all-in.
Charmin
I am a princess when it comes to toilet tissue. I like 2-ply, super soft tissue for my precious bottom. No, it isn’t sustainable and it’s bleached, but there are some things I simply cannot compromise on.
I have even vowed to pack a roll the next time we travel overseas. You have to be careful because the 2-ply is problematic for some septic systems, but when we travel, we’re usually gone two weeks and my bottom has requested a reprieve from the thin stuff now and then.
Seedling, Seventh Generation and many other companies have tree-free options for you. I haven’t found anything as soft as my Charmin yet so if you know something I don’t, please share!
Paper plates
I could live without these no problem. The man of the house likes the convenience of them.
Paper plates are pretty frowned upon in the sustainability community so I haven’t found an easy replacement for the ones we get at Sam’s Club, yet. Easy is the operative word, too. So, if you have suggestions, I’d love to hear them.
Personally, I find a real plate to work just fine, but this home is shared, and both people need to be respected.
Glad trash bags
I tried. I tried to use compostable bags, recycled bags, anything that fit those values I spoke of, but nothing has come close to the strength of my Glad Flex Force bags.
I take solace in lining the bathroom trash bins and my office bin with compostable trash bags. Or at least the plastic bags we are over-run with since not being able to use cloth grocery bags during the pandemic.
Carry out
Carry out, take away, whatever you want to call it, we do it now and then. My husband is a wonderful cook so we don’t get carry out all that often, but when we do, we are faced with Styrofoam or plastic containers.
Our sustainability solution? Keep the plastic ones to give to guests for leftovers. It’s great. We wash them out and save them up for any time someone comes over and we want to send them away with a little something.
The best is my father-in-law thinks they’re fancy expensive Tupperware so he always washes them and returns them no matter how many times we tell him he can recycle the containers when he’s done.
Plastic water bottles
I moved past my shame over this one a while ago as I decided the benefit out-weighed the cost.
A few years ago, I was diagnosed with a kidney filtration malfunction. What keeps me going? Hydration. 85+ ounces of water per day on top of any other liquids, minimum.
Yes, I can use my glass water bottle and add flavor (I don’t like drinking plain water all day therefore I won’t). I’ve tried all kinds of solutions including ice cubes with cut up lemon, strawberries and mint (those are fabulous) to fit into my glass water bottle.
The only solution that I’ve been consistent with is the one I have now that involves flavored and sparkling water in bottles. I’ll keep looking for alternative solutions, but, remember that thing I said about easy being important? Yeah, this type of easy makes sure my kidneys keep working.
Sometimes we have to make choices in life for which others will be sure to have solutions that won’t work for us. It’s okay to make your own choices even if they aren’t the popular ones.
Paper napkins
I keep these around to keep the hubby happy. As long as we have them on the kitchen table, he’s fine.
However, I always have the table set with placemats and organic cotton napkins so those are what he defaults to.
I respect his desire to have paper napkins and also offer an alternative. Win, win.
Aluminum foil and plastic wrap
Remember he does most of the cooking so decisions about cooking items do need to meet his needs.
At first, when I got silicone pan liners, he wasn’t buying it. But now he’s coming around.
I haven’t tried re-usable bee’s wax sheets for covering things yet, I’m going to give my husband a little more time to get used to the silicone liners before introducing another new idea. But he is great and uses the re-usable storage bags and bowl covers without pause.
The Middle Path
It’s all about finding the middle path and being accepting of what is instead of wishing you were something else or judging someone because they aren’t quite where you are.
I have many friends who are far beyond me on the sustainability path, and others who are on a different path.
We’re all doing just fine.
There is a lot to process in acceptance of yourself while also striving for the picture of a future you aren’t quite sure how to get to. I’m looking forward to coaching you toward your own middle path.