This is a concept so near and dear to my heart that you’re lucky it isn’t the subject of everything I ever write. My own realization that caring for my home was caring for myself was a turning point that I never imagined existed and changed everything.
Our homes are a reflection of us and we are a reflection of our homes. When one is chaotic the other will be, too. But when one is calm and serene, the other probably is, too. I have seen the evidence of this over and over in my work and in my own life.
My story
The story I share is about my kitchen. Sounds pretty mundane, but it’s really where my life changed. I won’t get into the gory details of how convinced I was that I was a slob with no possibility of reform. I’m working on a book that will tell you more about that later.
One evening my husband and I were eating dinner at the kitchen table and he saw a disgusted look on my face. In response to his question about this look I slumped over my plate, stared around the room, and growled, “I hate all this fucking shit!”
Poor guy, he had no idea what to do with that.
Three months later, after a radical decluttering of my home, I stood in my kitchen after having done the dinner dishes and wiping down the clutter-free counters in record time, and observed my little kingdom with pride. “I love my kitchen” I said.
And that was when it hit me. I had not really been taking care of myself for years, perhaps my entire life. Nothing I did to try to remedy my life was ever going to work until I learned this lesson.
Taking care of my home was truly taking care of myself for the first time.
I have a tiny home and nothing had changed about it at that point except the decluttering, but for the first time in 15 years of living in it I truly began to love it and to see it’s potential. It was no longer hidden under clutter and my own perceptions.
The stories of women just like you
I can tell you about Diane who gave herself permission to hire help to declutter her home. She then took the decluttering process from there while also starting a business she had been dreaming of for years. She even committed to taking care of her body in a way she had only been able to talk about in the past.
Or Betty who was inspired by my work while making a move with her spouse to a smaller home that fit her more authentically. In this process she decluttered and was intentional about every touch in her new home. The best part was when she showed me an empty shelf in a cabinet that she had intentionally left that way. She found her commitment to her own passion business, which was solidifying at this time, and charged forward with greater and greater momentum.
There was also Julia who had to face the cluttered home she was left alone in when her husband died. She came to terms with the emotional barriers she was dealing with, and began to reclaim her home. Coinciding with her breakthrough in self-care she also met a gentleman and learned to let herself be loved in a new and wonderful way.
The point of telling you these stories is to help you see the connection between caring for your space and caring for yourself.
When the space you live in is crammed full of stuff, icky energy, old relationships, fears and insecurities, you will be in the same state.
It’s an amazing process: You work on yourself. You learn to face your feelings and your negative core beliefs and allow yourself to have a home you love. You keep working on your home and yourself in tandem and life gets better and better.
Your story
So, what’s your story? How do you care for yourself? Does it work? Do you feel at peace in your own home?
I don’t care if you have 5000 square feet or 800, you can feel the same peace and self-love in either space. It is about how you care for that home and how you see it.
If you see your home as an albatross you might want to check in with yourself about the life decisions that brought you to this place. If you feel like your home is a loving haven you’ve probably done a bunch of work on yourself already.
Keep doing the work, it’s worth it, I promise (and I don’t give guarantees lightly). I can’t imagine who I would be today if I hadn’t learned to take care of myself through my home. I certainly wouldn’t be here writing to you and doing what I love, I can tell you that much.
So, if you’re ready to start looking at the stuff that is holding you back from taking care of yourself fully then it’s time to set some coaching sessions up with me. We’ll find you solutions and you’ll find out what it really means to love yourself.