The number one statement clients make to me about addressing their clutter is that they don’t know where to start because there’s so much.
Overwhelm. It’s a bitch.
But it doesn’t have to win.
The source of brain overload is perfectionism.
The thing about perfectionism is it’s not only the people who are uber organized and have wildly scrubbed homes who are perfectionists. Those with the growing list of unfinished projects and homes that haven’t seen a scrub brush for many a year are also perfectionists.
That’s the real bitch. Perfectionism. So sneaky.
You think about doing something, and everything that needs to get done floods in. You become overwhelmed and don’t do anything. The thinking is “if I can’t do this completely, I can’t do it at all.”
The perfectionist thinks she must do a task beginning to end without interruption or else it (she) isn’t good enough.
What to Do?
This is literally what I say to my clients:
“How do you eat an elephant?”
This is when I get eyes rolled at me.
Yeah. It’s that simple. One bite at a time. Think about it, if you tried to swallow an elephant in one gulp you’d be in serious trouble.
What does this mean? Break it down. Be willing to break it down. Be accepting of the idea that some things must be taken in stages.
Break the task you want to accomplish out of the larger group.
Now take piece of paper and write the project at the top.
Starting from the bottom of the page write in all the sub-tasks that need doing to get to the final goal.
The first thing you will write at the bottom of the page is the thing that has to be done before anything else happens. The next thing will be the next thing that has to get done before anything else happens and so forth.
Suddenly you’ve completed a project. Yay you!
What if I Don’t Trust Myself?
This is the next hurdle. You have created a story in your head that says you can’t be trusted to follow through on anything.
So, follow through on something. Pick something small and do it from beginning to end. See, you can follow through on stuff.
If your criteria is to follow through on something that isn’t realistic, then you’ve set yourself up to fail from the start.
Decide that a small task is good enough to begin earning your own trust and complete it. Then try a two-part task, and so forth. You are more dependable than you think.
What if I Still Can’t Find the Motivation?
We think we should be motivated instantly by the existence of a task. That isn’t how it works.
We are motivated by our desire for an outcome. If I really don’t give a crap about the state of the fridge, I’m not going to clean it.
Here’s the tricky part, you might want a clean fridge. So why do you continue to not clean it? Because something else is more important. You will have to decide cleaning that refrigerator is a priority.
You will have to decide it is worth your time. You will have to give yourself the chance to prove to yourself you can do it.
And, if it’s really funky in there, you will have to move past your distaste or even fear, of what you’ll find in there!
What if it Still isn’t Working?
You’ve separated that one task from the pile of other tasks.
You’ve broken that task down into its smallest, most do-able parts.
You’ve created realistic expectations you believe you can achieve.
You’ve even decided this is the most important thing you want to accomplish today.
Why are you still dragging your feet?
It’s possible you don’t believe you deserve to have a home you love. You may be afraid of what will happen or who you will be if you show yourself you can.
As a coach I can jump in at any time, when you’re starting out and need some support creating a plan, when you’re struggling with self-trust or motivation, and certainly if you find there’s a barrier you can’t figure out.
You got this. We’ve got this. We’ll do it together.