Generally speaking, I find people are terrified to make mistakes. They become paralyzed by the fear that they won’t start in the right place or do the right thing or will screw it (whatever “it” is) up in some fashion.
This is what I tell my clients: Start in the middle and figure it out from there. I tell them that all roads do in fact lead to Rome, so whatever road they choose will get them where they want to go eventually.
It is better to start at a less advantageous place than to never start at all.
PINTEREST AND DECLUTTERING MISTAKES
Wow. I went on Pinterest to see what might come up if I put decluttering mistakes in and was assaulted with words like “fail” “stupid” and “dumb”. One even started with “Why you SUCK” (they capitalized it). Holy fear mongering, Batman!
I get it, they’re going with shock value to stand out and get people to click on their blog. But I can’t do that to you. I don’t think you’ll achieve what you want to achieve if you’re focused on not failing or sucking.
To help you get to that Pinterest-worthy home (without fear of sucking) I’m going to talk about general expectations of how to declutter and then I’ll address some of the primary “fails” I saw in those blogs with the terrible titles. I’ll help you see that there really is no such thing as a mistake.
HOW “SHOULD” YOU DECLUTTER?
This is highly argued about. Should you follow the strict KonMari Method (Marie Kondo), in which it is recommended to take everything, and I mean everything, out and tackle an entire category at one time?
Clothes
Books
Papers
Komono (miscellaneous)
Sentimental
While asking if each item “sparks joy”
Kondo has a lot of really good points and ideas, and the “sparks joy” thing has a lot of merit.
Should you go with the FlyLady? She has created a cleaning system designed to slowly teach you how to build a tidy home and keep it that way. Some of her elements include:
15-minute increments
27 Fling Boogie
Start at the entrance to the room and work your way in.
While asking these questions
a. Do I love this item?
b. Have I used it in the past year?
c. Is it really garbage?
d. Do I have another one that is better?
e. Should I really keep two?
f. Does it have sentimental value that causes me to love it?
g. Or does it give me guilt and make me sad when I see the item?
Or should you use a “small bites” system, doing a little each day? Perhaps you follow your heart and do what feels right instead of what you think you “should” do.
My point is that there are many ways to go about this and all of them are right. Frankenstein your decluttering and take what works from each thing you read or listen to, so you can discover what is your way.
The only mistake you can make is to force yourself to declutter in a way that doesn’t fit you.
COMMON “FAILS” ACCORDING TO PINTEREST
It’s not that I don’t agree with these ideas, it’s that I refuse to tell you that you are stupid or failing because you’re struggling. There is always another way to look at it. Another way that takes the pressure off and leaves room for you to do what you need to do.
Not going in with a plan – I’m usually the first person to tell you that you need a plan to start something. The problem with this when you’re really stuck, is that you might not know how to make a plan (that’s when you need a Decluttering Coach like me) or making a plan may be as overwhelming to you as starting your decluttering.
What you need to know is sometimes…
You have to just start.
The plan comes later when you’ve gotten a feel for what’s going on in your home.
Plans change anyways.
Instead of staying stuck, take action.
Not getting the decluttered stuff out of your house – It’s scary enough to tackle a decluttering project in the first place. But once you get started a thing that can keep you stuck is the fear of that next step, when you take everything to the donation drop off and never see it again.
If this is something that is holding you back you can…
Put the stuff in bins.
Label them with a date three months from now.
Put them in the garage, shed, or attic; not a storage locker.
Check in with yourself in three months. Are you ready to let them go now?
If not, change the date to another three months.
You might be surprised at how easy it is to let go of the things you haven’t seen or thought about in three months.
Organizing clutter – This is a hard lesson to have to learn. Most of us have to learn it over and over again. But it’s not a mistake. It’s an experience that you have to go through before you’re ready to declutter.
Go ahead and…
Organize your closet without decluttering it.
See what happens in six months (or less).
Organize the renewed chaos again without decluttering.
Repeat as long as you feel like torturing yourself.
At some point you’ll be ready to let go of things so that you’re in control of the closet instead of it being in control of you.
Focusing on how much you paid for it – Yup, clutter is waste of many kinds, including money. It’s hard not to notice how much money has been wasted or to think about what you could have done with that money if you hadn’t spent it on clutter.
This is an opportunity for you to come to grips with your relationship with money.
What are your spending habits? What does your debt look like? How often do you buy things without a plan for them? How often do you spend money on things just because they’re shiny and new?
To create new habits, you have to…
Notice how much you paid for something.
Accept that the money is already gone.
Figure out how much that object is now costing you in energy and happiness.
Let it go.
When the burden of money is lifted from your shoulders, you’ll never want to take it on again.
KEEP MOVING
Like Dory famously chanted “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming” you, too, need to keep in motion. Instead of focusing on all of the stuff you shouldn’t be doing, focus on what you can do and take action.
As a Decluttering Coach it’s my job to help you get that jump start. It’s my job to shake you out of the haze of shame and help you see clearly enough to just get going.
When we’ve tackled your mental barriers, we’ll work on skills and find your solution. We’ll do this together!