You want to set New Year’s Resolutions for your well-being? Great! But can we make them sustainable and not just about getting to the gym five days a week, when you haven’t been going for the last year and half?
Every year gyms and exercise studios are flooded in January with people who have sworn “This is the year! I’m going to lose X amount of weight, I’m going to eat X food, and I’m going to workout X times every week for the entire year!”
I have no issue with setting intentions. I love intention-setting. I’ve seen people focus on their intentions so clearly that they have manifested a dream job, money to get a specialized surgery that insurance would not cover, and even an apartment with a view of the Eiffel Tower.
What I have a beef with is setting goals for yourself that do not take your personality into account. Goals that are unrealistic, or are a set up for failure from the beginning. At the New Year, millions of people set goals, but they don’t follow through on creating a real plan or identify what the barriers to their goal will be, and how they’ll handle them.
It’s time to do this differently.
WHAT A GOAL LOOKS LIKE
A goal that you can attain is solid, clear, and can be written down in simple language. For a refresher on SMART goals check out my blog on them here.
If you can’t write it down in clear simple language, then you aren’t clear on what your goal is so you won’t know how to work toward it.
An unclear goal: “I want to live in a nicer house.”
Same goal, clarified: “I want to find a home that is less than 2500 square feet, within walking distance of a cute downtown area, within less than a 30-minute commute to my job, and has big windows with a view of nature.” This goal can go on much longer with more details.
HOW WILL YOU WORK TOWARD YOUR GOAL?
Once you’ve identified your goal or intention or resolution or whatever you’re calling it, it’s time to get clear about the plan to reach that goal.
Too often I hear people creating plans that are unrealistic, vague, or not suited to their personality or lifestyle.
A vague plan: “To reach my goal of losing ‘X’ pounds, I’m going to eat better this year.”
(Ask yourself, “What does eating better mean?”
A specific plan: “I’m going to stop eating fast food, stop drinking sugary sodas, eat primarily proteins that have been measured, and I’m going to include vegetables in every lunch and dinner.” This plan can go into greater detail to give the goal-setter a clear picture to lean on when the going gets tough.
Think it through.
Write it down.
Add stuff. Delete stuff. Move stuff around.
Don’t stop until you have a clear plan.
Be okay with the idea that it may change as you put it into action.
WHAT BARRIERS DO YOU ANTICIPATE TO REACHING YOUR GOAL?
Here’s another thing we love to ignore: The crap that’s going to get in our way.
I’m not talking about getting sick, work running late, kids needing things, or any of the other daily life interferences. You have to be willing to work around those things. We all have them.
What I am talking about are those things about you that will get in the way.
Yup, I’m asking you to take responsibility for a lot of stuff here.
An example from my life: I wanted to do 30 minutes of yoga each morning. It kept not happening. Why? No, I’m not lazy, and neither are you. There was a reason. I really did want this. Then it hit me: I can’t go downstairs in the morning until I’ve done my yoga! Seriously, if I step foot downstairs, I get distracted and my morning goes off the rails.
Pay attention to yourself. They way I figured this out was that I had done yoga two whole days in a row, and on day three, after putting on my yoga clothes on, I went to take a step downstairs and the thought hit me: “I will not come back up here.”
It was that voice inside my head that tells me the truth, and this time I listened to it.
Listen to your inner truth-telling voice, even when you don’t like what she has to say. I promise it will get you closer to your goals.
HOW WILL YOU CREATE SOLUTIONS TO YOUR BARRIERS?
Okay! You figured out something about yourself that’s going to get in your way. A way you will sabotage this thing you want.
Now you need to create a solution.
In my example the solution was pretty simple, glue myself to the second floor of my house until after yoga.
Sometimes your solution will involve facing a truth about yourself that you don’t like. Let’s say your goal is to do one new thing every month of the year (I know someone who does this every year, it’s pretty cool and I recommend it highly), and the truth you know about yourself is that you’re afraid to challenge yourself and fail (hard truth to face) therefore you’ll conveniently forget by March, you need to come up with a solution that takes that truth into account.
A reasonable solution: You could set a reminder to go off on your phone every week reminding you to plan to do something new this month. This can help override the convenient forgetfulness that makes it so you don’t have to face your truth. You could even add to those reminders some gentle, encouraging statements like “You’ve got this!” “It’s hard to do new things, but you’ve done some before so you know you can do more” or “I am making my plan today!”
Solutions don’t have to be complex. In fact, the simpler, the better.
WHAT MOVES YOU TOWARD YOUR GOAL? OR AWAY FROM IT?
Alrighty, you’ve got a clear goal, with a clear plan, know what might get in your way and you have a plan to deal with that, too.
It’s time to start working toward your goal!
Here’s all I ask you to do while you’re working on this goal: pay attention to your actions and thoughts, and ask yourself this one question:
“Is this moving me toward my goal or away from it?”
Things that move you away: Not setting your alarm when you want to wake up earlier, lying to yourself and saying taking the bag of chips to the couch won’t lead to eating the whole thing, you know, stuff like that.
Things that move you toward: Whatever it is that supports your goal.
Look, you’re smart, you’re aware of yourself, you know exactly what it is that moves you toward your goals and what moves you away.
Ask the question, then make a decision: Toward? or Away?
TIME TO GET PLANNING!
There’s no time like the present so start making some notes about what goals you want to attain, and then walk yourself through these steps.
If you find yourself staring at a blank piece of paper, not having a clue what to write, get in touch with me. As your Integrative Life Coach, I’m here to help. You can I can knock it out of the park together!