Marie Kondo is a decluttering expert who came to popularity when her Netflix show Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. She has gone on to create other shows and specials. She has authored multiple books including The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.
Kondo has years of experience working with clients around the world, and has honed her method over that time. I have a ton of respect for the work she does. I actually agree with most of what she has to say. It’s just that there are a few things, like decluttering your clothing that I have an issue with from a psychologist’s perspective.
KONDO’S METHOD
In the purest form of Kondo’s method, she recommends starting with your clothing when doing a full home decluttering. With her method you must gather all of your clothing from around the house into one space.
This means everything you’ve got in random other closets, anything in the laundry room, coats from the front closet, all of the shoes from every corner they have snuck into. Everything. In One. Big. Pile.
From here your job is to pick up each item of clothing and ask yourself if it “sparks joy”. If yes, then it goes in the keep pile. If no, then it goes to the donate, or toss pile depending on its state of wear.
As you let go of each item you thank it for its service.
In the end you will have bags and bags of donations and trash that leave the house and a pile of clothing that you love, and actually wear.
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT THIS METHOD
On the face of it, I agree whole heartedly in removing items from the space they are occupying before decluttering. Trying to declutter while stuff is still sitting on a shelf or in a drawer, is a waste of time. You’ll end up having to come back later because you didn’t get the full picture the first time.
I absolutely feel you need to touch your clothing to know whether you want to keep it or not. We’re tactile, sensory creatures who need to come into physical contact with each item to make it real enough to make a real decision.
To have a truly decluttered wardrobe you really do need to have it be filled with items you love. People get all bent out of shape over the words “spark joy”. But all she’s saying is, do you feel good, like really good, when you wear that item?
I can honestly say that having a wardrobe filled only with items I love makes getting dressed so much easier. I can reach into my pretty minimal closet with my eyes closed, grab something, and guarantee I’ll enjoy wearing it. It’s been years since the last “I don’t have anything to wear” fit.
WHAT I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH
Take a moment and imagine piling every item of clothing you own up on your bed. How do you feel? Generally, clients tell me they feel a panic attack coming on just thinking about it.
I’ve watched her show, and I’ve watched YouTube videos of people attempting the full closet cleanout. From what I’ve seen it takes a minimum of two days and hours of work to do this all at once.
Almost everyone breaks down at some point. Tears, frustration, and hopelessness slide in as they become exhausted.
Now, if you have the time, go for it! Get it all done at once, that’s awesome. It feels amazing to have all of your clothes decluttered and organized.
However, in the real lives of my clients, I’ve not yet met someone who could put their life on hold for two to three days to declutter their clothes. I know I certainly didn’t when I did my first big decluttering.
It’s also an in-the-moment organization issue. When you declutter, you inevitably make more of a mess before it gets better, but the entire wardrobe of one person (let alone more than one resident of the house) takes up a lot of space when in piles.
Piles tend to make people feel trapped.
WHAT I RECOMMEND
I’m basing this on my own experiences and those of my clients who range from young, single professionals, to married mothers working outside the house or staying home to care for the children, to partnered individuals with no children, and so forth.
Across the board, my clients tell me they do not want to put themselves through the mental anguish of the KonMari Method. I offer it as an option, because it isn’t up to me to tell them they can’t do it this way. No one has taken me up on it so far.
As a psychologist I have spent my career working to help people feel better, not traumatize them, and then help them feel better. Yes, we often have to go through discomfort to get to our end goals, but if it can be avoided and the goal can still be met, I’m all for it.
So, here’s how I suggest tackling your clothing:
Write down all of the places you have clothing stored.
Main closet, guest closet, garage, basement, storage facility, your mother’s house, etc.
Write down what feels like a logical way to divide this up into smaller chunks.
One drawer at a time
One foot of closet space at a time
Pull out all of the clothes that you know are too big for you anymore
Warm weather clothes, then cold weather clothes
Sleeve length
Category
Determine how this project works best into your life. Be honest!
Commit to using pockets of time in your days to do a little at a time.
30-minutes a day
One section a day
One category per week
Before work, after work, on the weekends
Chip away at it.
When you’re doing this on your own, it can take a long time to get through, but each success leads you to the next one.
When you’re working with a Decluttering Coach like me, we will process the barriers you’re running into, create a plan, and provide you with accountability.
IDEAL VERSUS REAL
My method isn’t glamorous. It doesn’t provide rapid results, and instant gratification. The KonMari Method may be an ideal but it isn’t very real for the average woman, who is already trying to do far more than she has time and energy to do.
When you read, listen to, or watch anything on decluttering and organizing take from it what makes sense to you, and then do it your way. Just because an expert (me included) says this is the way they feel things should go, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s right for you.
Pick and choose, don’t criticize yourself for not “doing it right” because you do it differently than is described in the book.
And if you have no idea what “your way” is, I’m here to Coach you toward your goals, move you past your barriers, and create the life you deserve.