Balance. How often do you feel like it’s something you simply don’t have?
The ancient symbol for Yin Yang is something most of us are familiar with. But did you know why it has endured all of these millennia? Because it symbolizes what we all want most: balance.
It’s an entire philosophy unto itself that you can apply to your own life to attain the balance you crave.
BLACK AND WHITE
When you think in black and white terms you’re thinking in extremes. Yin yang teaches us extremes must be tempered.
Notice in the symbol the two dots of black and white in their opposite grounds. A little black in the white an a little white in the black. That’s what real balance is about. Instead of two extremes hanging out on the far ends of a teeter-totter, balance is about finding stability by coming closer in to the center fulcrum of the teeter-totter.
There is no good or bad. There are no good guys and bad guys. We all have a little of the other end in us regardless of how extreme we appear to be.
The kindest, most caring person can have a rough day and some rough thinking. That doesn’t make them bad. And the cruelest person can have moments of kindness or have people and things they truly do care about.
This can be confusing to those who expect all or nothing. If you’re a jerk, you’re supposed to always be a jerk and not confuse me by being nice now and then. If you’re a sweetheart you’re supposed to be all smiles all the time and not confuse me by being angry or sad sometimes.
Acceptance of yourself and others comes when we allow for these moderations to exist in ourselves and others.
COMPLIMENTARY NOT OPPOSITES
Yin and yang complement each other. We think of black and white as opposites, but think about how the world would look if we only had one or the other. We need the other to create stability.
The philosophy of yin yang gives us other complimentary pairings that we need to maintain even ground.
Feminine/Masculine
Think about a world in which we only had one gender. I know, I know, you’re thinking, “Gee, that wouldn’t be so bad.” Are you sure?
It’s easy to think of the traits of the other gender as bad or frustrating because they are different from yourself.
Different is not automatically bad.
The tendency for women to think through every little, miniscule aspect of a situation is valuable. So is the tendency for men to be direct and solution-focused.
The next time you interact with someone of the opposite sex, think about what is different about them from you that is valuable instead of focusing on what is annoying.
Moon/Sun
Have you ever been to a country so close to a pole that they have daylight all night at one point in the year and nighttime all day at another point? It’s odd.
When traveling in Iceland in July 2017 my husband and I got to experience the daylight end of this. We were there about three weeks after the Summer Solstice when the longest day occurs. It never got darker than twilight. This was incredibly confusing at 2am when leaving the bars!
I spoke with locals about what it is like to live in a land with these extremes and the general consensus was: not great.
One woman joked that every household in Iceland has anti-depressants in it because of the long nights. I expected something like that. What I didn’t expect was that so many people seem to agree that the long days are not much better. I was told it becomes crazy-making.
We need both night and day to feel centered.
Silver/Gold
In ancient civilizations like the Incas silver and gold were valued not for the monetary value given to them by Europeans, but for their connection to the feminine and the masculine as well as the moon and sun.
Silver represents the moon and gold represents the sun. Ancient civilizations worshipped both as queen or goddess in silver and a king or god in gold. Both were equally sacred.
The next time you are deciding whether to wear silver or gold, think about what side of yin or yang you are feeling like and let that guide you.
Passive/Active
Passive is often seen as bad, while active is seen as good. Try looking at it a different way. It’s the extremes that are problematic.
If you are only passive problems do arise. Lethargy, lack of motivation, lack of self-advocacy…these are all the results of extreme passivity.
However, if you’re only active other problems arise. Stress, strain, injury, aggression…extreme activity isn’t sounding any better than passivity, is it?
We need to be active, yes, and we also need to rest. We need to speak up and we also need to know when it’s okay to let some stuff go.
The common forms of yoga most people are familiar with are yang. Active. Moving. Engaging. I love yang yoga; Ashtanga, Bikram, Hatha, Vinyasa, etc. It gets my blood moving and wakes up my muscles. But I also have to have yin yoga.
Yin yoga is passive. In yin we melt into a posture or asana and release all muscle tension. This gets deep into the fascia of our muscles and joints allowing for deeper stretching and healing. Each posture is held for about 3-10 minutes.
Other passive yoga forms are Restorative, with its gentle, supported postures for healing, and Nidra, a meditative sleeping yoga (check it out on an app like Insight Timer).
If you run, stretch. If you talk all day for work, spend time in silence. If you sit all day for work take walking and stretching breaks.
Find the middle path.
Alkaline/Acid, Cool/Warm
Thinking in terms of foods we need alkaline foods to balance the acid and we need some acidity to liven up the alkaline.
Examples of alkaline foods are: cucumber, avocado, lentils, tofu, almonds, olive oil
Examples of acidic foods are: tomatoes, citrus, sugar, pineapple, coffee, eggs, salt
When we think of balanced eating, we think of eating whole foods and staying away from things like fried foods. Try looking at balance in eating a little differently. Consider increasing or decreasing the alkaline or acidic foods. Run the experiment for a month. See how you feel.
At the same time notice how you crave cool drinks, and fresh fruits in the heat and stews and hot chocolate in the cold.
There is always more balance to be found!
EXAMINE YOURSELF
Take a moment to check in with yourself about your own intentional balance, your yin and yang.
Do you go to extremes? Do you think in all or nothing terms? If so, what is one small change you can make today to begin to create balance?
Do you find yourself complaining about things or people that are different? If so, can you take a beat and consider what their differences are bringing to the table?
Do you only engage in active workouts? Can you give yourself permission to slow down?
Do you only mostly alkaline or acid foods? What are a few small changes you can begin to incorporate to create more balance in your eating?
YIN YANG IN YOUR MIND, BODY, SOUL, AND SPACE
Mental, physical, spiritual, and spacial balance are all needed in your life. Find your own ways to balance your being.
If your mental is overrun, give it a break. If your body is seizing up from lack of activity, get some movement in to each day. If you focus so much on the logistics of life that you forget to feed your soul, give yourself what it is you need. If your home is filled with cool colors find little places to offset the cool with some warmth, like the brown of a wooden item in a gray kitchen.
Pay attention to when you feel “off”. That’s the indicator you are out of balance and your yin and yang need some attention.
Knowing something is “off” and knowing how to fix it can be two very different things. That’s where I come into your life. I will work with you to identify what is out of balance and what can be done to increase your balance in a way you are ready for.
I look forward to finding the solutions to your life’s clarity with you!