Whether we're talking a sport, your job skills, relationship skills, mindfulness, self-care, or pretty much anything else, we need to practice daily. We practice even when we aren't on the spot so that we create muscle memory that will kick in when needed.
For example, if you’re prone to panic attacks, you need to practice your skills, like breathing, visualization and mindfulness, daily or you won't know how to apply them when the panic comes and you and really need something to hold onto. Without practice we live a reactive life. With practice we live a responsive life. One where we feel in control of our choices, even in the worst of times.
Our minds are amazing things, but they can’t be expected to read something in a book, hear it in a podcast or talk about it with your coach once and then recall it 3 weeks later no problem, right?
Think about going for your first interview. My first interview after undergrad was a train wreck. The only thing that saved me from the embarrassment of the amount of sweat that had poured out of my nervous body was that fabulous late 90’s pantsuit jacket. I had never practiced an interview. It never occurred to me and no one with more experience suggested it. And, in case you’re wondering, I did not get that job.
I love helping people prepare for interviews now. I’ve been on both sides, the hiree and the hirer. I’ve learned so much about the process that I want to do anything I can to help someone else not have the sweaty experience I had in that first interview.
And, yet, no matter how experienced I am at something I still need to practice. So do you. I need to go back to basics now and then. So do you. The foundational work of anything we become an expert in can become shaky if we don’t shore it up now and then with a little extra focus.
You can’t get carried away with thinking you should be able to do something because of your age or life experience. Neither of those things automatically create knowledge and skill, and that’s okay.
I talk to so many women who beat themselves up because they think whatever age they are at means they should automatically know things. They beat themselves up because it’s been some arbitrary amount of time since a traumatic incident and they think they should be over it by now, and the fact that they aren’t must mean there’s something wrong with them.
There’s nothing wrong with you. You are human like the rest of us. You know what you’ve been taught and what you have practiced. Time itself isn’t a magic elixir that makes us capable of things without doing the work.
We all need to be taught what needs to be practiced. Your boss who seems to know exactly how to handle things that make you want to crawl under your desk? Yeah, she started out not knowing which way was up. That girl in your yoga class who appears to bend herself into a human pretzel? She worked her ass off to get there.
Perfect doesn’t exist so don’t think you’re going to get there and be able to coast. We accept our humanity and search for what more we can learn and how we can integrate it into our lives so that we are always growing.
Never believe you don’t have to practice. That’s ego and it’ll get you in trouble. Start where you are and build up to the next level. Whether it’s your job, relationships, working out, bowling… doesn’t matter. Practice doesn’t make perfect, but it sure as heck gets you closer than the alternative.