Do You Know Why You Have What You Have?
We are a consumerist culture. We buy the newest, trendiest stuff. Amazon will get you that avocado slicer in 24 hours. We end up with homes full of stuff that we don’t use, need, or even know we have.
I used to have a subscription box problem. Well, problem might be understating it. I tried upwards of 30 different subscriptions. I’m not kidding. If I didn’t like one, I’d cancel right away and not get it again, but, oof! It was a lot. Eventually I did take it down to 3 subs that I truly enjoy and use.When I decluttered my entire house, I was shocked and surprised at how much stuff I had. It was this decluttering that got me to simmer down on those subscription boxes. They were filled with stuff that I didn’t choose for myself and wasn’t going to use. Sure, I gave a lot of it away, but there was plenty left over.
I discovered that there are a lot of questions we never ask ourselves. We don’t become curious about our own motivations, and nothing changes. Questions challenge us to think instead of mindlessly wandering through our lives. I want you to start asking questions.
Attachment plagues our culture. What percentage of your belongings do you have that you don't use? What percentage do you keep because Aunt So-and-so gave it to you and you don't want to hurt her feelings? What about the stuff you don't even see because it's been there so long it's now simply part of the landscape?
Have you ever found yourself walking out of Target with a bunch of stuff you never intended to get and you aren’t even totally sure what it all is? That’s the sort of mindlessness that causes our homes to fill with unneeded stuff. Intentional living is asking ourselves questions like, “Do I really need that? Why? Am I sure?”
Do you have a junk drawer? How did that become a thing!? An entire drawer whose only purpose is to hold a bunch of stuff with no rhyme or reason? What’s in there?!
How about an attic, a basement, or shed? Don’t even try to tell me you know everything that’s in there. You might have a vague concept, but, really, you know the Arc of the Covenant could be in there and still never be found.
Why do you have stuff you don’t use? Just in case? What if? One day? If you’re honest with yourself, are you going to use that stuff?
I know you spent good money on a lot of that stuff. But what is it now costing you? Space? Energy? Self-esteem? Your relationship?
How about broken things? Are you so sure you’ll fix that thing one day and it’ll be good as new? Really? I mean, really. I love your optimism. I love your desire to reuse and upcycle. But, if you aren’t actually doing any of those things, you’re simply collecting broken stuff.
Shall we talk about the clothes that are from when you were heavier and/or thinner than you are now? Let’s start with the stuff that’s from a heavier time. If that is not a weight you want to be at again, why would you keep clothing that invites that energy into your closet? And then the stuff from when you were thinner. Is that from when you were significantly younger than you are now? Are they still in style? Are you living a life in your head that isn’t now? Be here. Be now. Live in this moment. Give yourself the chance to get the most out of today instead of looking behind you all the time.
How about anything attached to a long-passed relationship? That’s just bad juju right there. We need to surround ourselves with happiness, love, success. Past relationships were important in our lives at one time. Move forward and beyond that time in your life. Open yourself up to the possibilities before you.
So, I ask you, when was the last time you really looked at all of your belongings and asked yourself why you have them? Get in there. Touch your stuff. Pull things out of dark places and lay eyes on them. Did you even remember why you have them or where they came from?
Curiosity and honesty are themes I return to over and over. Rather than taking your belongings for granted, decide what fits the life you are living right now. Be honest with yourself about what you like, want, use, are actually going to repair or sell.
In my first full home decluttering I probably got rid of 20% of our belongings. I was making donation runs every week for almost 3 months. It’s an ongoing relationship with my home and stuff. I still have to ask myself questions. I still have to get honest with myself and let go of my ego that doesn’t want to admit that that thing I keep holding onto just isn’t going to get used.
Stay honest about your belongings. Love what you have, release what you no longer love.